A Letter to Laura

Dear Laura,

Your life is going to be interesting. It’s also going to be boring. It’s going to be entirely different from everyone else, but some things will look the same. A lot has happened up until now and even more will happen after. Whatever it is that you take from this, let it be something good.

You’re going to meet people you like, meet people you love, meet people you don’t like at all and everyone in between. You’re going to have to let people come into your life and leave just as quickly as they arrived. Some will impact you forever, some not at all. You’re going to meet some incredible people you never thought you would have and you’re going to fall out of touch with others you thought you’d know forever.

You’re going to learn who is good for you and who is not. You’re going to learn that you're mean with some and kind with others. You will learn that you're not meant to be linked together, for everyone's benefit. They will no doubt learn the same.

You’re going to realise when others don’t want to place effort into you. You’re going to be upset about it, but you’re going to learn from it and reassess your own time. You’re going to discover where and who you want to put your time and effort into and go from there.

You’re going to fall in love and you’re going to get your heart broken. It’s going to hurt. You’re going to learn how to put the pieces back together with a little help from your friends. Okay maybe a lot of help. And Dua Lipa’s entire album.

You’re going to begin to learn who you are and unlearn pretending to be someone you’re not. You’re going to get a lot of tattoos. Some of which will be questionable, none of which your parents will agree with. You’re going to cut, dye, bleach and mess up your hair multiple times, but you’re going to have fun doing it. You’re going to cut a fringe, twice, and you’re going to hate the awkward grow out phase, twice. You’re probably going to end up doing it again in the future.

You’re going to pick up your life and leave a lot. You’re going to decide to move abroad and have some of the best and worst times of your life. You’re going to feel like you’re on top of the world. You’re also going to, at times, feel incredibly lonely. You’re not going to feel settled until you find one place where you do. You’re going to be afraid of how much you like it. You’re going to fit in. You’re going to love it there. You’re not going to know what’s next, but you’re going to like that part.

You’re going to feel anxious and you’re going to feel numb. You’re going to be sick with it sometimes. You’re going to have a few panic attacks. Some will be in public. All of which you will breathe through. You’re going to be fine.

You’re going to worry about your parents as they get older, and worry even more about your grandparents as they do the same. You’re going to worry about your siblings and if they are doing what they want to do in work or school or whatever they are doing. You’re going to find it hard to verbalise it. But you’re going to think about it often.

You’re going to feel like you have all the time in the world and simultaneously feel like you have none at all. You’re going to feel trapped by it sometimes, and entirely freed by it in others. You’re going to develop a bad knee though and be reminded that you are in fact getting older despite feeling like a child sometimes. Also the two day hangovers will remind you of this. Every-time.

You’re going to realise what you’re good at and what you’re bad at. You’re going to be surprised at what you thought you were bad at, you're actually good at. You're going to be annoyed that what you thought you were good at, you actually suck at. You’re going to appreciate the irony nonetheless.

You’re going to laugh a lot. You’re not going to cry as much, but that’s because you’re going to think that to be strong means not to feel. You’re then going to realise that to be even stronger means to feel it all. You're going to push people away. But you’re also going to learn how to let some of them in and be all the better for it. It’s going to be hard. You’re going to have to keep working on it.

A lot has happened Laura, and there’s a lot more to come. You’re going to figure it out as you go. Let me know how it goes.